Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Mom said you looked used
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize