she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Too much gin, very little bucket
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I think people are normalizing furries
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
