You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
