some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
