i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
