u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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