I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
