Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
