My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
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Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
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I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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