Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
