I should be sponsored by Trojan
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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