fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
