Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
