After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
