spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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