I smell stomach acid.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
