hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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