I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
