There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
