I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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