This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
