Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
you traded sex for a burrito?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
