You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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