I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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