Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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