Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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