Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
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