I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
They have beer where we have blood.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
