hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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