Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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