Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
