bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
