so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
