I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Still dying that you shit outside
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
