I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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