I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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