Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
