you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
