how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
