oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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