Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
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