Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
