Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
where am i from again
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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