your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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