so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
