i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
