FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Are we still banned from the library?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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