Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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