somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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