I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
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I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
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