So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize