Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
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