You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
