Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
