you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
