oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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