I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Why is there bacon in the couch?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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