Only a mothe r could love this liver
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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