I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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