But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
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So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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