Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
