I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
