I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Randomize
