Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
