He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
