Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
