Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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